


Pin Drop

by hazellepotter



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Acceptance, Adolescent Sexuality, Angst, Bittersweet, Bittersweet Ending, Coming of Age, F/F, Finding true love, First Love, Heavy Angst, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Mentioned Hogwarts Reunion, Muggle Town, POV Lesbian Character, Pre-Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Sexuality, Squib, Summer Love, Summer break, Time Jump, accepting sexuality, muggle, the one that got away
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-13 23:45:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19261606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hazellepotter/pseuds/hazellepotter
Summary: Dolores would always be the one that got away, but at least Minerva never lost herself like Dolores did and became who she was destined to be.





	Pin Drop

Minerva had always heard the worst things about Dolores Umbridge, but she considered it all to be school-yard gossip. She tried not to participate in such immature activities; she was above that. But she knew part of it was true. Dolores had a Squib brother, and it seemed like she tried to ignore his existence.

That, in itself, pissed Minerva off. You did not abandon your family, especially for something they could not help. That would be like abandoning her father just because he wasn't a wizard like her mother. _It was wrong._ Your family was blood, and you loved who you loved. She figured a Slytherin would believe in that if any wizard from any house did, but apparently Dolores did not. So rather than approaching Dolores or even trying to make her acquaintance, she avoided her all together, just like the gossip involving her. 

What Minerva didn't know was that Dolores wanted her to notice her more than anything, but that was wrong in itself, just like she believed her brother to be. Or that is what her mother would tell her, anyway. And after-all, Dolores believed in everything her mother said. She had no reason not to. 

* * *

It was the summer between her sixth and seventh year, and Minerva was happy to be back around Muggles. Reliving her Muggle-like childhood was always refreshing to her; she loved that she had two different worlds to escape to. So as she walked down the dirt path of her hometown, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She could smell the freshly mowed fields and the ice cream being served at her favorite parlor. Now, you see, Minerva was not the type to daydream. She figured it took her too far away from the practicality she valued most, but in that very moment, she let her mind drift away. She would later say that was her biggest mistake, but at the time, it was the best time she could have ever wandered off. Before she knew it as she walked with her eyes closed, she ran into another body. She opened her eyes quickly and started apologizing profusely. She was even more embarrassed when she realized she ran into Dolores Umbridge herself. They had never spoken two words to each other.

Dolores's blonde hair was blowing wildly in the wind as she held the hand of a younger boy. She had a stern look on her face as she looked up at Minerva. It was like she couldn't believe Minerva had the audacity to run into her, but when Dolores realized who she had ran into, her cheeks slightly flushed.

"I'm so sorry I got in your way, Minerva," Dolores told her, "I-I should have been paying more attention."

Minerva's eyes trailed down to the boy beside her. His green eyes were as vibrant as her mother's favorite jade necklace, and his hair was the color of the fresh corn the farm down the way grew every year. He was adorable, and it made her wish she had a younger brother of her own. 

Minerva realized she still hadn't responded to Dolores and came back down to reality, "You shouldn't be apologizing," she told her, "I was the one walking with my eyes closed like an airhead."

She watched as Dolores smirked at her words. The little boy was now pulling at her arm and pointing to the ice cream parlor with his free hand.

"Dori, can we please go get ice cream now?" He begged.

Dolores sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, "Just a second, David, I'm talking to my-" But she paused. It was like she had no idea what to say, so Minerva finished her statement for her. To her surprise, it just rolled off the tongue.

" _Friend._ She's talking to her friend, David-" 

Minerva watched as Dolores smiled, and it was the first time she had ever seen her look so genuine. It made Minerva's stomach flutter. 

* * *

That day, Minerva learned that Dolores in fact loved her brother, even though she had been told her whole life that his Squib nature was wrong. She could tell that part of Dolores believed it too, but she felt immense guilt for thinking so. Apparently, Dolores's mother always forced her out of the house with her brother when she was home during the summer. Her mother did not want to look at David, so Dolores would take him to Muggle villages to assimilate. Minerva thought it was ridiculous his mother could think he was bad; he was the sweetest boy she had ever met. If he had been a wizard, he would have been a Hufflepuff, for sure. 

They spent the whole day together as Minerva showed them around her hometown. She even held David's sticky hand in her own as they frolicked through the fields and laughed for hours. She could feel Dolores's eyes on her the whole time. Sometimes when she caught her looking, Minerva even blushed. It was very unlike her.

At the end of the day when Dolores insisted they needed to leave, Minerva invited her to come again tomorrow.

And Dolores did. She did for the rest of the summer. Sometimes with David and sometimes without. Minerva had a new friend in the most unexpected person. That's why it was tragic when it came to an unexpected end. 

* * *

It was the week before they were to go back to Hogwarts. Dolores was the only one to come and visit Minerva that day, and Minerva found herself missing David. But only a little bit, and because it was only a little bit, she felt guilty. She wanted to spend more and more time alone with Dolores, but she didn't know why. Or she didn't want to _admit_ why. She wasn't sure which reason it was. 

They were sitting in their favorite field and watching the sun go down. Dolores was so close to Minerva that their shoulders were almost touching. Minerva felt like she could barely breath and tried to swallow. 

"This has been the best summer of my life," Dolores admitted, "It has felt so nice to get away, and David has appreciated you so much. It is just-"

"Just what?" Minerva asked.

Dolores took a deep breath and turned her head slightly to look Minerva in the eye. Her eyes were hazel and nothing like her brother's eyes, but they were the exact same shape and showed the exact same innocence. Minerva found that endearing. 

"I-I don't know if what I am feeling is acceptable," she admitted, "I just feel so-"

Minerva interrupted her, _"I feel it, too."_

Dolores looked down at their hands as Minerva intertwined them, and as the sun set, Minerva leaned forward to press their lips together. Dolores didn't pull away, but Minerva could feel her breath quicken. The kiss was gentle and innocent; it was the kind of kiss Minerva always dreamed of as being her first. She had never been interested in dating before, but now she understood what everyone was talking about. It just wasn't with the kind of person she ever expected.

As she pulled away, she looked at Dolores's flushed cheeks and the blonde fly-aways surrounding her face. Minerva smiled and felt at ease.

"If that wasn't acceptable," Minerva told her, "Then I don't think anything in this world should be acceptable."

Dolores didn't answer her with words, instead, she leaned forward to kiss Minerva again. 

* * *

After that night, Minerva did not see Dolores again until they boarded the train to Hogwarts. But Dolores didn't try to talk to Minerva, instead, she ignored her. Rather than letting this worry her, Minerva let it anger her. It wasn't until the next day after breakfast that Minerva approached her.

"So," she stated as she walked up to her, "I guess we're going to forget any of that happened? That this whole summer didn't exist?"

Dolores didn't say anything as she packed her books into her rucksack. 

"Are you really going to ignore me?" Minerva asked.

Dolores finally answered her and looked her in the eye, "You ignored me for years. Why does it make a difference now?"

Minerva felt as though she was punched in the gut, but she tried not to show it. However, she failed, because she could see the slight glitter in Dolores's eye for making her point. 

"I didn't think so," Dolores replied, and before Minerva could say anything else, Dolores strode away to her next class.

* * *

A month went by and Minerva had not tried to talk to Dolores, but now she felt ashamed. She felt ashamed for what she felt when she shouldn't, so she decided to confront her again once and for all. 

Dolores was sitting by the lake and looking out at the water. Her bare toes were in the sand as the chilly October breeze ran through her hair. Minerva wondered how she wasn't cold, but she let that thought slide. She sat down next to her, and Dolores didn't say anything. Instead, she just grabbed her hand.

"I-I thought you wanted to act like nothing happened?" Minerva asked her quietly.

Dolores didn't look down at her, but she replied, "I do. I have to, I just want to have one more minute."

And so they did have one more minute that night, and many minutes after that night in secret. It wasn't until the end of the year that it truly came tumbling down. It was when Minerva found out the truth about David that it was over.

"Were you going to tell me your mom sent David away to an institution or were you just going to conveniently keep that to yourself?" Minerva asked her.

She was taking deep breaths and wanted to avoid the gossip, but it was big news when a Squib finally got sent away. She didn't want to believe it could be true.

Dolores didn't answer her at first and continued to fix her hair in the bathroom mirror.

"You love your brother. He is a sweet boy. You-you can't let this happen to him."

 _"He needs help,"_ Dolores finally offered, "This might be his only chance to possibly get some magic out in the-"

"He doesn't have magic!" Minerva yelled, "And you and your wretched mother have to accept that! Just like you have to accept that you're in love with me!"

A long silence lasted between them; Minerva swore she could hear a pin drop. 

"I feel it," Dolores whispered, "But-but _I can't accept it_ and I won't accept it. It-it isn't right."

"That's what your mother says," Minerva pleaded, "Not what you actually believe. It's just like with David she-"

But Dolores interrupted her by kissing her. She kissed her so hard that Minerva's back hit the front of the bathroom stall. As Minerva tried to deepen the kiss, Dolores pulled away from her.

"I-I wish it could be different," Dolores confessed, " _But it can't._ My mom will never accept it, just like she won't accept my brother. I'm sorry. _I love you, but love isn't enough._ "

Minerva tried to protest, but Dolores gave her one last tearful look before she ran out of the bathroom. 

* * *

They didn't talk again after that night, not until many years later at a reunion. This was many years before their feud started at Hogwarts during Harry's days. The hatred between them bubbled as Dolores ignored her feelings that night once again. **_You could never hate someone so much unless you loved them._** That's what Minerva believed; that's what she _knew_ when she saw that her patronus was a cat just like Dolores's. But Dolores never tried to reach out after that night of yelling and denial, and that made Minerva hate her even more. _Especially_ when she found out she never did help her brother David and became the wretched person her mother raised her to be.

 _Loving someone was never enough to save someone from their own darkness that was inside of them._ That's what Minerva learned that year. It was bad for her to daydream, so she no longer did. She looked at what she had in front of her and accepted the truth. 

But she would always remember what it felt like to have her first love, and as she looked at Pomona as the Battle of Hogwarts ended, she was grateful she found love again. She knew the type of love she felt for women was not wrong, and she pitied Dolores that she could never understand that truth. Dolores would always be the one that got away, but at least Minerva never lost herself like Dolores did and became who she was destined to be. **A woman in love with another woman. A mother to her students. A teacher. A friend. A woman who always did what was right.**

Minerva tried to remember the blonde girl with the empathetic hazel eyes, but those memories faded with time as the truth became clearer. All she knew was that her passionate hatred was once fueled by love, and that was okay, because it made Minerva realize who she was. 


End file.
